Linvonkcat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, two-faced crow.

Linvonkcat created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linvonkcat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Linvonkcat, he will strike you with lightening.

Linvonkcat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Linvonkcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Always help sick frogs.

3. Put Linvonkcat first in all things.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Linvonkcat.