Tartigvil is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, generous butterfly.

Tartigvil created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tartigvil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tartigvil, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tartigvil's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tartigvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect five copper sculptures of Tartigvil on top of important buildings.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.