Gamjigtinomt is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, sapient snail.

Gamjigtinomt created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Gamjigtinomt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gamjigtinomt, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gamjigtinomt's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gamjigtinomt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four titanium sculptures of Gamjigtinomt on top of important buildings.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Run away from cyan eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help manatees.