Flanrilstraglak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic ferret.

Flanrilstraglak created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanrilstraglak, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flanrilstraglak, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flanrilstraglak's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Flanrilstraglak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Flanrilstraglak on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Never laugh near badgers.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.