Jabcarpodjan Ligditgov Sawlarpmet is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, passionate alligator.

Jabcarpodjan Ligditgov Sawlarpmet created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Jabcarpodjan Ligditgov Sawlarpmet, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabcarpodjan Ligditgov Sawlarpmet, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jabcarpodjan Ligditgov Sawlarpmet's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jabcarpodjan Ligditgov Sawlarpmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. You must pray to Jabcarpodjan Ligditgov Sawlarpmet four times a day.

5. Do not covet oxen.