Popvonkart is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody donkey.

Popvonkart created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Popvonkart, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Popvonkart, she will turn you into a puffin.

Popvonkart's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Popvonkart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.