Tapsidmid is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, flying newt.

Tapsidmid created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tapsidmid, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tapsidmid, it will come to you in dreams.

Tapsidmid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tapsidmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lemons.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.