Flapdimpad is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, smart turtle.

Flapdimpad created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Flapdimpad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapdimpad, he will turn you into a sheep.

Flapdimpad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Flapdimpad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Flapdimpad on top of important buildings.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.