Limyartjig Wigfudjon is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, deceitful crab.

Limyartjig Wigfudjon created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Limyartjig Wigfudjon, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Limyartjig Wigfudjon, she will turn you into a dog.

Limyartjig Wigfudjon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Limyartjig Wigfudjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about sharks.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Limyartjig Wigfudjon.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.