Cetligven is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing dove.

Cetligven created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetligven, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cetligven, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Cetligven's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Cetligven's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn porpoises for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Retreat if nine snails approach from the west.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cetligven.