Flapjopnutt is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty elephant.
Flapjopnutt created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.
If you believe in Flapjopnutt, he will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in Flapjopnutt, he will curse you with boils.
Flapjopnutt's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.
Flapjopnutt's Holy Commandments1. Show mercy to disobedient children.
2. Always help cats in need.
3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.
4. Never wear kilts.
5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.