Fossbitcetfigbedyarl Gattalgom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, wise giraffe.

Fossbitcetfigbedyarl Gattalgom created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossbitcetfigbedyarl Gattalgom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fossbitcetfigbedyarl Gattalgom, he will be very unhappy.

Fossbitcetfigbedyarl Gattalgom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fossbitcetfigbedyarl Gattalgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick shrews.

2. Never feed lemons to snails while wearing corsets.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Always obey Fossbitcetfigbedyarl Gattalgom's priests.

5. Never write about dark matter.