Funfasfon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awe-inspiring unicorn.

Funfasfon created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funfasfon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Funfasfon, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Funfasfon's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Funfasfon's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight seals approach from the north.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never sprint in the presence of tortoises.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.