Vadwapfad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic scorpion.

Vadwapfad created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadwapfad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vadwapfad, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vadwapfad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vadwapfad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue doves, for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

4. Never wear red tights.

5. You must pray to Vadwapfad three times a day.