Talbimomtvigjinfabpigham is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, passionate zebra.

Talbimomtvigjinfabpigham created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Talbimomtvigjinfabpigham, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Talbimomtvigjinfabpigham, it will turn you into a dog.

Talbimomtvigjinfabpigham's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Talbimomtvigjinfabpigham's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to pigs while wearing blue hats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Talbimomtvigjinfabpigham.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Never wear white coats.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.