Minhaswadstik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody gorilla.

Minhaswadstik created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Minhaswadstik, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Minhaswadstik, she will destroy your home solar system.

Minhaswadstik's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Minhaswadstik's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help ants.