Bestonthan is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent seal.

Bestonthan created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestonthan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bestonthan, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bestonthan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bestonthan's Holy Commandments

1. Bestonthan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Hide from fawn turtles for they are unholy.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Worship no other gods but Bestonthan.

5. Never talk about fire.