Sagmapyar is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, able gorilla.

Sagmapyar created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagmapyar, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sagmapyar, she will remove you from existence.

Sagmapyar's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Sagmapyar's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. You must love Sagmapyar.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Sagmapyar in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never bounce near manatees.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.