Yardudquag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tiresome swallow.

Yardudquag created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yardudquag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yardudquag, she will manifest in front of you.

Yardudquag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yardudquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yardudquag.

3. Never talk about gravity near shrews while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing six iron spheres on your back.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Do not cook food in pots.