Fonlatvan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, intelligent squid.

Fonlatvan created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonlatvan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fonlatvan, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fonlatvan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fonlatvan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not commit murder.