Kipnutvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless slug.

Kipnutvonk created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipnutvonk, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kipnutvonk, she will turn you into a rat.

Kipnutvonk's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kipnutvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never sing in the presence of horses.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Respect your elders.