Garsidmot is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unthoughtful jackal.

Garsidmot created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Garsidmot, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Garsidmot, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Garsidmot's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Garsidmot's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Garsidmot.

2. Garsidmot must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must love Garsidmot.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.