Fenbafflow is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful swan.

Fenbafflow created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenbafflow, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fenbafflow, it will be very sad.

Fenbafflow's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fenbafflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. You must never eat apples.

3. Run away from magenta ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about optics near bats while wearing turquoise tights and balancing eight silver spheres on your feet.