Quafpopyim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast jaguar.

Quafpopyim created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Quafpopyim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafpopyim, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quafpopyim's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Quafpopyim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.