Bastkarnar is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonest dugong.

Bastkarnar created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bastkarnar, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bastkarnar, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bastkarnar's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bastkarnar's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Bastkarnar loves snakes, so they must be respected.

3. Feed all hungry snails.

4. Always wear green.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.