Hatjinweg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sapient naga.

Hatjinweg created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatjinweg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hatjinweg, he will destroy your home solar system.

Hatjinweg's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Hatjinweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near geese while wearing fawn dresses.

2. You must pray to Hatjinweg five times a day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.