Jenfobgud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, merciless human.

Jenfobgud created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenfobgud, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jenfobgud, she will turn you into a hamster.

Jenfobgud's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Jenfobgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.