Honkarquill is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, self-confident crab.

Honkarquill created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honkarquill, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Honkarquill, she will turn you into a plant.

Honkarquill's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Honkarquill's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six capybaras approach from the south.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

4. Never feed carrots to foxes while wearing kilts.

5. Always look after injured mites.