Dimdub Nillvedtom is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, benevolent narwhal.

Dimdub Nillvedtom created the solar system two years ago.

If you believe in Dimdub Nillvedtom, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dimdub Nillvedtom, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dimdub Nillvedtom's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Dimdub Nillvedtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat seals with great respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Learn four new languages a year.