Vedfabstik is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, stupid raccoon.

Vedfabstik created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedfabstik, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vedfabstik, it will jump up and down on your head.

Vedfabstik's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Vedfabstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Do not listen to music.