Tik is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful fox.

Tik created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tik, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tik, he will torture you forever.

Tik's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tik's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of monkeys.

2. Never feed spinach to ducks while wearing yellow trousers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always pray immersed in water.