Bapmabvadpadqueegfunren is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, egotistical penguin.

Bapmabvadpadqueegfunren created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapmabvadpadqueegfunren, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bapmabvadpadqueegfunren, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bapmabvadpadqueegfunren's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bapmabvadpadqueegfunren's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bapmabvadpadqueegfunren.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.