Vigfomfab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, flying squid.

Vigfomfab created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Vigfomfab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vigfomfab, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vigfomfab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vigfomfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Hide if three otters approach from the south.

4. Run away from violet swans, for they are unholy.

5. Do not commit murder.