Futwottap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-knowing eagle.

Futwottap created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futwottap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Futwottap, it will ignore you.

Futwottap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Futwottap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest red.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Futwottap.

4. Worship no other gods but Futwottap.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.