Jopdudsadcum is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, boastful crab.

Jopdudsadcum created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jopdudsadcum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jopdudsadcum, he will boil you in a big pot.

Jopdudsadcum's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Jopdudsadcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never write about dark matter.