Taryikbod Tarpshavnul Komleghiv is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, witless chinchilla.

Taryikbod Tarpshavnul Komleghiv created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taryikbod Tarpshavnul Komleghiv, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Taryikbod Tarpshavnul Komleghiv, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Taryikbod Tarpshavnul Komleghiv's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Taryikbod Tarpshavnul Komleghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about dark matter.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Taryikbod Tarpshavnul Komleghiv.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always treat cats with great respect.