Vabvanstik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, resourceful rat.

Vabvanstik created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabvanstik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabvanstik, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Vabvanstik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vabvanstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about tomatoes.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Put Vabvanstik first in all things.

4. Do not hurt dogs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vabvanstik.