Gumortbet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured camel.

Gumortbet created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gumortbet, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gumortbet, she will turn you into a tree.

Gumortbet's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gumortbet's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Run away if four turtles approach from the east.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.