Bonloopfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, merciful walrus.

Bonloopfoss created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonloopfoss, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bonloopfoss, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bonloopfoss' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bonloopfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about spacetime near mites while wearing green tights.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Bonloopfoss on top of important buildings.