Hogfligvonk Wikwad Veennigdin is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, quiet dove.

Hogfligvonk Wikwad Veennigdin created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogfligvonk Wikwad Veennigdin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hogfligvonk Wikwad Veennigdin, she will not invite you to parties.

Hogfligvonk Wikwad Veennigdin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Hogfligvonk Wikwad Veennigdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near eagles while wearing violet corsets and balancing five aluminium spheres on your head.

2. Never paint your feet orange.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near horses while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing eight nickel spheres on your legs.