Safbadpang is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, bad-tempered dove.

Safbadpang created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safbadpang, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Safbadpang, it will not care.

Safbadpang's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Safbadpang's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Safbadpang in the centre of the settlement.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Safbadpang.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about planets.