Kabsawbam is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, slow bird.

Kabsawbam created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kabsawbam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabsawbam, it will laugh at you.

Kabsawbam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kabsawbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Never feed apples to horses while wearing stockings.

4. Always help geese.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.