Venwotril is a god.

It takes the form of a large, witty parrot.

Venwotril created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Venwotril, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Venwotril, it will turn you into a hamster.

Venwotril's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Venwotril's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Venwotril.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.