Quim is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty horse.

Quim created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quim's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Quim's Holy Commandments

1. Quim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. Quim loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quim.