Litdumwap is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, amazing pig.

Litdumwap created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Litdumwap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Litdumwap, he will turn you into a tree.

Litdumwap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Litdumwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mites with great respect.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Litdumwap.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never paint your hands orange.