Jarnsawjap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever unicorn.

Jarnsawjap created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnsawjap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jarnsawjap, he will turn you into a plant.

Jarnsawjap's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jarnsawjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing cyan trousers and balancing six iron spheres on your arms.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never talk about sheep.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.