Zigcinjat Gigcinten is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful fish.

Zigcinjat Gigcinten created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigcinjat Gigcinten, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zigcinjat Gigcinten, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zigcinjat Gigcinten's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zigcinjat Gigcinten's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Zigcinjat Gigcinten loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. Hide if four sharks approach from the west.