Mapfonfun Riljatlarp Davnarlrul is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, weak giraffe.

Mapfonfun Riljatlarp Davnarlrul created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapfonfun Riljatlarp Davnarlrul, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mapfonfun Riljatlarp Davnarlrul, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Mapfonfun Riljatlarp Davnarlrul's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mapfonfun Riljatlarp Davnarlrul's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never think about special relativity.