Yarnanstrag Fodstafbep is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witty gerbil.

Yarnanstrag Fodstafbep created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarnanstrag Fodstafbep, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarnanstrag Fodstafbep, she will send you a sign.

Yarnanstrag Fodstafbep's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Yarnanstrag Fodstafbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Hide from mauve gulls for they are unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never paint your legs white.