Bimcubtargquim is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable fish.

Bimcubtargquim created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimcubtargquim, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bimcubtargquim, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bimcubtargquim's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bimcubtargquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Worship no other gods but Bimcubtargquim.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not keep six otters in a large pit.